[. . . hah. Catra flops back over again, this time on her back, tail flicking. her breathing is still pretty shallow because she has mildly fractured ribs, but it's hard for me to mention that in every tag]
Yeah.
. . . you think the universe would catch us a break.
[I wanna be with you, she says, and for a moment Catra feels like the world has stopped. even the follow up with her mentioning Glimmer and Bow doesn't dampen the impact of those words]
[her mouth curves into a small smile as she looks away]
[tail flick!! but now she's staring off into the distance, like she too is daydreaming of a day when things are. . . so much simpler than they've been for their entire lives]
[. . .]
I guess that sounds pretty nice.
[. . .]
[. . . but in order to daydream, one has to have an idea of what a peaceful life looks like. and Catra. . . well]
[... that's fair. Adora, of course, has no idea what's going on in Catra's head. But she seems satisfied by the response; instead of questioning it, she hums, closing her eyes for a moment.]
... I'll be looking forward to it. But... it's not complete without you.
[. . . a light ear flick, and Catra's eyes also slip shut in an expression that is surprisingly-- uncharacteristically, considering her entire life-- content]
. . .
When I was stuck on Horde Prime's ship with Sparkles, I asked her what she'd do if she were back home on Etheria. Her answer was pretty cheesy, but unsurprisingly she had one prepared from the start.
[. . .]
I've never really considered what might lie beyond-- you know. All the fighting.
[Now Adora wonders what Glimmer's answer was--but she can kind of imagine it, she thinks.
She wonders, too, what Catra's response was. Is that part of what made Catra do what she did?
... Adora sighs a little. It's not fair that Catra's never gotten the chance to consider a life after that.]
Well... after everything, there'll be time to figure out what kind of life you want, too. It's not like anyone will stop you from taking your time deciding on it.
[with the new goose and squirrel bites, it's no surprise that Catra's feeling a little sore. but even so? she pushes herself up into a seated position, allowing her tail to curl around her waist as she scoots a little closer to Adora]
[words have never been Catra's strong point, unless she was trying to talk her way out of a rock and a hard place. so instead of saying anything, she curls her fingers around the sleeve of Adora's shirt and tugs on it gently]
[so she can rest her forehead against Adora's shoulder]
This is fine by her. Adora just sits there for a moment as if trying to decide how to react and how much of a reaction is okay and how much of a reaction is too much--
Before she finally just settles on looping an arm around Catra's waist gently and lightly, quiet permission that she can stay close for as long as she wants to.]
[. . . it's funny, how being this physically affectionate is both something new and yet not at the same time. it wasn't weird for them to flop on each other, or sleep on each other, or hold hands and lean close when they were kids. but after everything they've been through-- the friendship that was destroyed and then rebuilt, still shaky but far more solid than it was before-- it's. . . different]
[Catra finds she doesn't mind, even if she's still trying to put words to why things are so different now]
Did you know him?
[her tail brushes up against Adora's arm around her waist]
... No, not really. [Adora's been "lucky" in that sense--that the only one she's known who's had this happen to them is Lila, and even then they were only acquaintances. But... there's the guilt, too, for feeling lucky for that to be the case.]
He got on my nerves. [OH. . . MEAN?? DON'T TALK THAT WAY ABOUT THE DEAD] Because he was such a rules guy. It didn't matter if the rules were stupid; he expected us all to follow them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[affixes Adora with the blankest stare]
[and says--]
This was the worst week of my life.
[WAS IT, CATRA]
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The fact that I had to think about that for a minute really says a lot about your life.
[A sigh. She closes her eyes, and more softly:]
Our lives. [together]
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Yeah.
. . . you think the universe would catch us a break.
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And then, almost dreamily:]
Sometimes I think about what it'll be like when it does. When... things are better, and we can just... breathe.
How nice it'll be.
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[and then she asks, almost hesitantly, almost uncertainly]
What will you want to do, when that day comes?
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Isn't it obvious? I wanna be with you. You and Glimmer and Bow... so long as we're all together, I don't really care where we go.
Just... living peacefully.
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[her mouth curves into a small smile as she looks away]
. . . really? Something peaceful?
You're always so active it's hard to imagine.
[but she sounds. . . happy]
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So instead:]
It can be peaceful and active! We can do stuff and not be fighting for our lives all the time!
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[. . .]
I guess that sounds pretty nice.
[. . .]
[. . . but in order to daydream, one has to have an idea of what a peaceful life looks like. and Catra. . . well]
[she doesn't even know where to start]
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... I'll be looking forward to it. But... it's not complete without you.
Okay?
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. . .
When I was stuck on Horde Prime's ship with Sparkles, I asked her what she'd do if she were back home on Etheria. Her answer was pretty cheesy, but unsurprisingly she had one prepared from the start.
[. . .]
I've never really considered what might lie beyond-- you know. All the fighting.
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She wonders, too, what Catra's response was. Is that part of what made Catra do what she did?
... Adora sighs a little. It's not fair that Catra's never gotten the chance to consider a life after that.]
Well... after everything, there'll be time to figure out what kind of life you want, too. It's not like anyone will stop you from taking your time deciding on it.
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[. . .]
Hey-- Adora--
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Yeah? What is it?
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[words have never been Catra's strong point, unless she was trying to talk her way out of a rock and a hard place. so instead of saying anything, she curls her fingers around the sleeve of Adora's shirt and tugs on it gently]
[so she can rest her forehead against Adora's shoulder]
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This is fine by her. Adora just sits there for a moment as if trying to decide how to react and how much of a reaction is okay and how much of a reaction is too much--
Before she finally just settles on looping an arm around Catra's waist gently and lightly, quiet permission that she can stay close for as long as she wants to.]
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[Catra finds she doesn't mind, even if she's still trying to put words to why things are so different now]
Did you know him?
[her tail brushes up against Adora's arm around her waist]
Lan Wangji, I mean.
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I only saw him in passing.
You knew him though, right? He was in Summer.
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He got on my nerves. [OH. . . MEAN?? DON'T TALK THAT WAY ABOUT THE DEAD] Because he was such a rules guy. It didn't matter if the rules were stupid; he expected us all to follow them.
[. . .]
[there's a heavy "but" in the air]
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But Adora knows Catra pretty well, so she doesn't think she means to be that insulting.]
... But?
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I don't know. I guess he was okay? He kind of understood some things that nobody else here really got.
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[Adora's just gonna cut right to the heart of the matter, whether catra wants to or not.]
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I didn't lose him.
[that makes it too personal for her feelings-allergic heart]
It just sucks that he's. . . gone.
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[Adora gently nudges shoulders with Catra.]
It does. It shouldn't have happened.