[...ah. and even when people are good people, other people will worry about them and get angry about the self-sacrificial behavior. yeah. this is familiar.]
I don't know. Some people just...really care about keeping other people safe. Even at their own expense. [there's no diplomatic way of saying this.] Especially when there are people they really, really care about. Sometimes they care so much they don't actually realize they're hurting the other person.
[a pause.] And sometimes, I guess, people don't know how to stop trying to live up to expectations other people gave them.
[...well. he's starting to think that yeah, maybe he should.]
If she'll tell me about it, sure. I think I can kind of understand some things. We haven't talked much about stuff from our worlds.
[he likes adora, but cal and i keep fucking up and not pcing. he opens his mouth as if to say something, and she might even catch the beginning of yamato's name before he stops. yamato might understand where catra's coming from. but maybe it isn't his place to say so.]
...maybe someday the world won't need She-ra. Just be there for her when that happens. [it's said in a tone that implies "i know i don't have to tell you this because you know."]
[she doesn't say anything to that, because he's right. she does know. and maybe, selfishly. . . she wants that time to be now, and not in some nebulous future where they don't know how long it'll take to defeat Horde Prime and his chipped soldiers]
[. . .]
Anyway.
[it seems she's had enough talking about her feelings for now, because she's back to eyeing Taichi with a critical expression of her own]
You never told me about your non-human friends, or your adventures in-- the Digital World, right?
We were all at summer camp. Or most of us. My sister had to stay home because she had a cold, but she joined us later. The first time though we got our digivices and this huge rift opened up that pulled us in and away from our world to the Digital World. When we all woke up, our partners were waiting for us. They...said they'd been waiting for a really long time.
It wasn't until later we found out we were Chosen Children who were supposed to help save the world.
Of course it bothers me sometimes. None of us asked to do this, but we're the only ones who can. So we do what we have to do to keep our world and their world safe.
I want the least amount of damage as possible. [immediately.] I want...people to be okay. I want to protect my friends, and I want to do everything I can to keep everyone safe. Even if that means having to do things to save the world.
[but sometimes...you get tired. sometimes the fight is hard, and sometimes you lose a lot of people on the way. sometimes you have to remind yourself that it's worth it.]
[with frustration!! he gets the feeling it's not all directed at him??]
I'm asking what you want to do with your life! What you want outside of this stupid destiny thing! That part of your life doesn't go away just because fate decided to play games with you.
Yeah. [which. thanks. this is how he gets away with never telling anyone anything, so he kind of appreciates that. nevertheless...he does think about that for a moment.]
...it's complicated. It's always been a little complicated, but it got even worse somehow. That's all.
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[Adora is super obvious about it, after all. it all started with that-- with that stupid sword. with stupid She-ra]
. . .
She's just. . . [a sharp exhale] . . . a good person.
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I don't know. Some people just...really care about keeping other people safe. Even at their own expense. [there's no diplomatic way of saying this.] Especially when there are people they really, really care about. Sometimes they care so much they don't actually realize they're hurting the other person.
[a pause.] And sometimes, I guess, people don't know how to stop trying to live up to expectations other people gave them.
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[Adora being a good person is the whole reason she embraced She-ra in the first place]
You should-- you know. Talk to her about She-ra sometime. If you haven't already.
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If she'll tell me about it, sure. I think I can kind of understand some things. We haven't talked much about stuff from our worlds.
[he likes adora, but cal and i keep fucking up and not pcing. he opens his mouth as if to say something, and she might even catch the beginning of yamato's name before he stops. yamato might understand where catra's coming from. but maybe it isn't his place to say so.]
...maybe someday the world won't need She-ra. Just be there for her when that happens. [it's said in a tone that implies "i know i don't have to tell you this because you know."]
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[. . .]
Anyway.
[it seems she's had enough talking about her feelings for now, because she's back to eyeing Taichi with a critical expression of her own]
You never told me about your non-human friends, or your adventures in-- the Digital World, right?
[oh, but she at least knows that term!]
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Yeah. That's it. They're called Digimon. It's been...about six years since the first time we went there.
[...normally he wouldn't offer this, but other things in other pcs happened so:]
What do you want to know?
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I guess how you even got there in the first place. You named off a bunch of friends in that memory, so--
[. . . they were fighting an enemy, right?]
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We were all at summer camp. Or most of us. My sister had to stay home because she had a cold, but she joined us later. The first time though we got our digivices and this huge rift opened up that pulled us in and away from our world to the Digital World. When we all woke up, our partners were waiting for us. They...said they'd been waiting for a really long time.
It wasn't until later we found out we were Chosen Children who were supposed to help save the world.
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Did you have any say in this at all?
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No. Not really. It just happened.
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[she stares at Taichi for a moment, before carefully asking]
That fact doesn't bother you?
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Of course it bothers me sometimes. None of us asked to do this, but we're the only ones who can. So we do what we have to do to keep our world and their world safe.
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[almost exactly like what Adora told her just the other day, and on instinct, she puffs up]
Yeah? So? Just because you're the only one doesn't mean you should be. What do you want?
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[but sometimes...you get tired. sometimes the fight is hard, and sometimes you lose a lot of people on the way. sometimes you have to remind yourself that it's worth it.]
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That's not what I meant, and you know it.
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Then what? Are you asking if I want to be chosen or not? Because it doesn't exactly matter when there isn't much of a choice.
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[with frustration!! he gets the feeling it's not all directed at him??]
I'm asking what you want to do with your life! What you want outside of this stupid destiny thing! That part of your life doesn't go away just because fate decided to play games with you.
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I don't know, Catra. I'm still trying to figure that out.
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Just--
[. . . a huff]
Don't let this stupid destiny thing control you. Okay? Not that I care what you do, or whatever, it's just--
[she has. . . feelings about this kind of thing]
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...this is something I can't really talk about right now. So let's just...not. Okay?
[the "please" goes unsaid, but he's actually visibly uncomfortable with the topic.]
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Okay.
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Thanks. [he seems to mean it, at least.] ...maybe another time.
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I'm going to press you on it, or anything.
[in fact she may never bring it up again, unless he does. or the conversation naturally goes towards that topic]
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...it's complicated. It's always been a little complicated, but it got even worse somehow. That's all.